Quality Time

Since my mom died in 2002 I have become somewhat estranged from my mom’s side of the family. It’s odd how a death can either bring a family closer together or tear them apart. In this case, our family has never been quite the same. My mom was somehow the glue that kept our family together. Don’t get me wrong, she was also the cause of some monumental family feuds too but she always managed to get everyone together in the end.

My grandmother and grandfather loved my mom very much. Seeing me, after my mom’s death, often made my grandmother cry. She said that I remind her so much of my mother. I found myself distancing myself after that because I didn’t want to cause my grandmother any sadness. It’s been difficult for me though because my grandmother has had such a great influence in my life – she’s probably my biggest hero, the one I look up to most.

When I found out I was pregnant, I had this burning desire to reconnect with my family. My grandparents are amazing and I didn’t want my son to grow up not knowing them, or his Asian roots. Unfortunately, my grandfather died just four days after Ethan’s birth. He never got to see Ethan. It makes me so sad to think about it. I don’t want Ethan to lose his great-grandmother too without having known her. This day was very important to me. My grandmother held Ethan for the very first time. She talked to him. She smiled with him. And best of all, he smiled at her. And he talked to her. Ethan also got to spend time with two of his great-aunts that day too. He also had his first bottle by someone other than me or his Daddy. My aunt Cathy fed him. It was so great to see him stare into her eyes as he ate.